This past weekend I had the amazing privilege of going back to South Dakota for a wedding. It was wonderful. I got to have the closure with some friends that I did not get to have before I moved, due to the inconvenient timing of the influenza. It felt nice just to be a visitor in my former residence, and in a way it solidified my somewhat rash decision to get out of dodge. My friends even told me that I looked much happier.
South Dakota will always have a special place in my heart, but it is now in the past, like one would think of an ex-lover where things had ended amicably. Going back to South Dakota, I have seen how much I have grown and healed since my departure. I am more mellow and I feel secure. Although I have done some growing in the two short months since my departure, I was able to see for the first time how much more maturing and healing I need to do. I was razzing a friend over something silly he had done, really a complete brain fart type of moment, and I just told him, “You need to do better.” That became our group mantra for the weekend. However silly it may have sounded at the time, and unserious it was, I have brought it back home with me. I caught myself being lazy when I got back, on my last day off before work, and I just told myself, “Carolynski, you need to do better.” So I did. I worked out, raked up all the leaves in the yard, and played with Milo (my dog).
I look forward to the future. I can tell that there are a lot of amazing opportunities that are waiting for me to blossom into, so I just need to remember to take it one step at a time, and, as Dory would say, “Just keep swimming.”
Dedicated to Jordan, Adam, and Zac, with lots of love.
Do Better,
Carolynski Marie
Carolynski Marie 